Why Homeschool? Part 1

The beginning of our journey...

It is really by God's grace and His leading that our family is homeschooling. I am someone who said I would NEVER homeschool. I want to share a little of my background and what lead to my thought processes.

I grew up being homeschooled, and for the most part had a positive experience. Because of our flexibility we were able to do a lot of traveling during the school year. Our family was able to visit many historical and very educational places. I have been to most of the 50 states. My school experience was definitely very hands on. I think my parents were very creative in the things they did with us. I don't know that as a child I fully appreciated all of their efforts, or realized what a blessing my experiences were. However, around the age of 15 my parents split, drastically changing the dynamics of our lives. My mom pretty much allowed herself to fall apart, and told my sister and I that she wanted nothing to do with our schooling. She gave us an option, either continue on our own or go to public school. Having been taught at home all my life, and knowing nothing else (and I was a very shy kid), and with everything crazy that was going on in our lives, I chose to teach myself at home.

Because my mom offered little to no help with my schooling, I often struggled to understand things, especially those harder upper grade subjects (Algebra being one of them). To make a long story short, I ended up spending a month or so with my best friends family during my Senior year. I flew to VA to stay with them and get caught up on my schooling so I could graduate. It was alot of hard work, but with determination I did it. I graduated from homeschool high school

The struggles in my last 2 years of high school really left a bad taste in my mouth for homeschooling. I felt in a way my mother had failed me. I know she did the best she could, but her best just honestly wasn't enough. I didn't feel like I could handle that kind of responsibility with my own children someday. I didn't want to look at my children and feel like I had failed them in their education. I was pretty dogmatic about this. Whenever the subject was brought up, I was quick to point out that I would NEVER homeschool because of my own experience.

It's funny how the Lord can change your heart. When Anna turned 4, Bill and I decided that we wanted her to go to 4k. She seemed like a pretty smart kid and ready to begin her schooling. We searched around and found a private 4k program near our home. It was a non religious school...we didn't pick it for that reason. That turned out to be a big mistake. I don't think there is such a thing as non religious. We were very unhappy with some of the things that Anna was being taught, so at Christmas break we pulled her out and enrolled her in St. Johns...that turned out to be mistake #2. Anna being the bright and sensitive child that she was, questioned the religious views that were being expressed there. They talked about things like Lent and baby baptism. We had to spend a lot of time explaining to Anna why we don't believe in those things. That was actually a good thing. I mean, it did give us good opportunity to teach scripture to our child and explain why we believe what we do. Being sensitive, Anna was very upset that her teachers were "teaching me lies".

The education that Anna received was good and really laid a good groundwork for kindergarten. But, we wondered at what cost had she received it. I feel it was God's way of getting the wheels turning in our heads. Bill and I began to question what we wanted to do for Kindergarten. It wasn't an option to put Anna in Christian school (too expensive), and going to a public school really made my stomach turn in knots (even though up until that point, I figured that we would send her to public school).

Bill and I spent lots of time praying about it. Bill started to feel more strongly about us homeschooling. Of course I had my reservations at first. Bill asked me one night why I was feeling resistant. I had to think for a little bit. First, was my fear of failure. And second I was afraid that if we kept her at home she would be too sheltered. Even as I uttered those words, they sounded a little silly to my own ears. Bill's response was, "What is so wrong with being sheltered? Especially when she is young?" I couldn't find one thing to respond to his question with. He was right, what was so wrong with sheltering her while she is young...absolutely nothing, was my conclusion.

After much prayer, and getting godly advice from trusted friends, Bill and I decided that God was leading us to homeschool. We didn't know for how long, we just knew that we were following God's leading for the moment. We are still taking it one year at a time. We had our challenges the first year, but I really enjoyed it. And of course this year had it's ups and downs, but I feel myself growing to love it more. I love the opportunity that the Lord has given me to teach my children at home. It is so amazing to get to see first hand their minds develop and grow. Teaching Anna to read was one of my favorite things. I know that at some point God may call us to put them into school, but for now I am trying to enjoy the time that He has given me. I had to let go of some things that I wanted to do in order to homeschool. It was a bit of a struggle for me to let go of the outside ministry that I was in at first, but am finding that there is so much joy in obedience. I do not regret one bit giving anything up in order to teach...it has been a privilege and blessing to do so.

As for my fear of failing with my kids, well the Lord has really been teaching me alot about that. First, I tend to put really high expectations on myself which are often unrealistic. Second, I am beginning to see that having fear about not "getting it right" is robbing me of joy. I could write a whole post on that alone. God is so good. I love that he is using my children and my experience with homeschooling them, to mold me and draw me closer to Him. I am very blessed. God gives me the strength and wisdom I need. It is only by His grace and doing that my children do well in school.

Bill and I feel that our responsibility as parents is to guide our little ones to God. We felt that that the best way for us to do that right now, was to keep our kids at home. We want them to really be grounded before we send them out among the wolves. I realize that every family is different. I am probably offending people by what I am saying. God does not call everyone to keep their little ones at home. It is a very personal decision between you and God. I do not judge other families for what they do. The most important thing for every family is to seek out what God wants them to do and be obedient to that.

This journey that we are on is so amazing. I look forward to all that God is going to do in our lives...and how He is going to change me.